So I'm trying to practice for my job interview tomorrow. Usually I'm calm and collected prior to the inevitable. I'm not fearless by any means. But when people cower while watching scary movies, I yell angrily, telling the actors what to do in order to survive. When people cringe at the sight of a leg being amputated (on the John Adams HBO miniseries - I was not expecting that AT ALL), I stared in wonder. But I am not fearless.
I am scared shitless of this interview. I mean shitless. Like I'm-going-to-hurl-I-want-to-pee-in-my-pants scared. I'm scared to mess up, scared I won't get the job, scared I'll say the wrong things. Granted pre-interview jitters and stress is necessary and normal, but still, I am scared.
And then my mind's wandering on what scares me. Like I said, scary movies, hospital shows, blood and guts - not scared at all. The most random things scare me.
Amphibians: I HATE frogs. Can't sta nd them. I don't know why. Maybe it's the fact that they're slimy and have big beaty eyes and croak, but there is something just geniunely despicable about frogs, and other amphibians to me that I just run away and hide. I remember this one time there was a frog in the house; the minute my dad found it I ran and locked myself in my room. Yea, I'm never living that one down. I mean, look at it! It's got red eyes!
Marshmallows: I have this recurring dream where I'm falling from the sky and running through clouds. Except these clouds are marshmallows and I bounce on them, get whiplash, then keep falling. I really don't like marshmallows (on occassion I do bring my nerves up so I can eat smores).
- Failing: I feel like a lot of people are scared of failing. Sometimes it gets so bad that I don't even want to start anything to avoid the possible negative outcome. I've learned my lesson, but I still get that heart-stopping moment once in a while when I think of the bad side of things.
Talking on the phone: Every time! I get scared answering it, I get scared talking on it, I get scared dialing a number, I get scared listening to my voicemail. I don't understand; literally, my heart will stop and I will get an anxiety attack every time I have to use my voice or listen to a voice on the phone. I rarely answer phone calls and I almost never check my voicemail. It's out of control. When someone texts me I answer *snap* like that, but calling me... You'll never get me. Ever... Well, not ever, but it'll take you a while to.
That's all I can think of write now. I know there's more really random ones I'm scared of - it's just not coming to me right now. And I hope it doesn't.
I hope this interview isn't as scary as I'm making it out to be. Wish me luck!